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Shalom,

this is the christian journal of D from Germany. I intend this journal to be my christian blog, and I have decided, for now, to exclude details from my personal life that do not seem relevant to my christian journey. On things that are relevant to this journey, I will likely post on lengths.

I am an evangelical christian, leaning protestant in my theology, but without hard feelings towards catholics, coptics, orthodox christians etc. As of now, I attend the divine service of a lutheran community in my city, and am planning to get baptized there, God willing. But this is not definitive yet, I am currently pondering to attend the divine services of some other churches also.

I am quite ecumenical. In my heart I believe that everyone who believes that Jesus existed, and still exists, that He is Lord, and that God raised Him from the dead (or that He rose, depending on perspective), is a christian. I do appreciate doctrinal purity, but in the same time I try not to caught in overzealous debates as far as doctrine is concerned.

From the protestant reformers of the last centuries I must say I appreciate Luther most. I think Luther's brilliance consisted in accepting the paradox, without simplifying it too much like Calvin did. I view the dogma of election somewhat critically - I can't quite believe that some have been made to be condemned forever, without choice, without opportunity of mercy, and that some have been made for salvation, without a risk of loosing it. In my past life this stance of mine has been problematic - I was fearing damnation intensely. Yet I have found God, and it had been enough that I had faith to faith (faith in faith is a biggie for me .. ask me about it). It is still unsettling to think that I could loose my salvation, but I have come to see that if I stick to God, if I keep going to Him, searching His closeness, keeping my faith in Him loving us and acting for our benefit, that then I am fine. I totally depend on God, and this was what at first scared me so much, but it is now what soothes me, that I depend on God, and not on myself, that I depend on God, not on ideas, philosophies, powers of this world.

It is one of my dreams that God will not only inspire new church communities, but will also awaken the existing ones, that the big churches of the last centuries will not simply wither away or melt with the world but will be quickened by the Lord, and refitted with lively spirituality. Another of my dreams is for a revival of christendom as a word for christian civilisation, as in christian art, christian politics, christian pursuit of science, christian philosophy, and so forth. May we learn from the past, from the mistakes of history, from the successes of history. I think God's successes are better examples to teach us than man's successes. Rembrandt's wonderful paintings were such a success of God in christian faith. There are things God did directly in history, like when He parted the Red Sea, but there are things He did indirectly, behind the scenes, through our faith. There was the obvious, and the sublime. And the obvious had a sublime meaning, and the sublime has an obvious meaning.

I appreciate christendom a lot because I hold it for possible that there may still be centuries before the great and glorious Day of the Lord. We christians must be prepared for that day, yet in the same time we must be holistic and plan our lives in a way that considers our children, and the children of our children. In the same vein I also view ecology as important, and the general engineering of society from below and from the top. But of course, God is in control.

Sometimes I think I could be a teacher to people, but in the same time I am a little afraid of this thought because I know that to whom much is given, much will be required. Apostle Paul received much wisdom, but he had to bear a messenger of the devil so that he would not become conceited. I am a little afraid of burning out, and being foolish in the sense of not knowing what I ask for, of not knowing what I can handle, what I can handle worthily, and what I can not handle. Responsibility is a wonderful value, but it can also be a burden.

But so far I am thankful for what I've got. The Lord has changed my life enormously. He has given my life so much meaning, and He literally saved me from ruin. If someone would have told me 10 years ago that I would be a christian once, I would have either laughed at him or would have become angry. I think I was a dirtbag before God received me.

Thank you for stopping by at my journal. Please say the Lord's prayer for me when you have a little time. I wish you much of God's blessings, and that the Lord will not count your sins against you but nevertheless redeem you. Think the best of Him and expect good things of Him to give you.

D


PS

I'd like to clarify my username. I often think of words, and think of the many ways a word, a name may be understood. I think someone could take my username to mean that I consider myself someone special in God, that it is more of a title or so. But the meaning I intended for giving myself that name is that is supposed to mean that I am a child of God, that I depend on God's mercy and that it was His mercy that brought about the change in my life, that saved me from despair and ruin. Thank you.

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